I’ve got to get my hair cut. It’s been approximately five months since my last real trim, and my hair is showing it. The last time, I had layers cut into it so I could do that cool thing with the curling iron; you know, the flipped-out and bouncy-ends look. And it did look nice, when I did it. The key word here is when. In the morning, it’s just too damn hard to be all into the beauty routine. If the morning wasn’t so early, maybe there would be more of a chance I’d be willing to spend more time in there working on my look. But, alas, the morning continues to occur in the morning. I can barely manage to put on moisturizer and a couple of concealer dots on my face. Curling my hair? Um, not quite a priority.

So when I go in for this haircut, I think I want them to chop it off just above the shortest layer. This still leaves my hair long, which is nice, because I like having long hair again and I’m not ready to go short just yet. I’ve also got to get my bangs trimmed again, so I’ll have that done, too, when I go.

The problem is, I don’t know where to go to get a haircut. I never stay with one salon or stylist. I breeze in for one cut and leave, never to return again. I have yet to be really impressed with the job anyone’s done on my hair. Most of the time, I stop into a Supercuts or Great Clips when I have a spare minute and just have it cut there. Of course, that’s a major crapshoot. Sometimes it’s pretty good; I got the long layers cut at a Great Clips before the wedding, and they did look nice. Other times, I walk out with crooked bangs and chopped-up ends. Poor Greg is often charged with straightening out the mess some of these places have made of my bangs. In fact, I find it much better if I just have him trim my bangs for me, since he takes his time and cuts them straight every time. But since the long part of my hair needs to be cut, it’s probably in everyone’s best interest if I just have a professional do it.

Why don’t I complain or tell the stylist I am not happy with the way they cut my hair? Simple: I am too shy, and I hate talking to the stylist more than I have to. Isn’t that so stupid? I mean, I am paying this person to cut my hair, and let’s face it — trimming hair and bangs isn’t really all that hard. Logic says that I should get a decent job when I sit in their chair. I don’t understand myself. I don’t know why I just “take it,” as it were, and pay and leave feeling “ehh” about how I look. All because I ‘don’t want to cause a fuss’ or ‘I don’t want to hold anyone up.’ Like I said already: SO STUPID.

I guess it just boils down to this — I have an issue with sitting in a chair in front of a big mirror for a long period of time, with some person I don’t know touching my hair. I look at myself under that salon light and my skin looks all yellowy and sick; and my hair color always looks so washed out and dull. “Yay, I love looking at this sickly-looking person for an extended period of time!” And I am not comfortable having to make small talk while they do it.

Call me anti-social or unfriendly, but I’m just not good at knowing what to talk about with hair stylists, and when they talk too much, I grow weary. I think I might even unintentionally do that rude sigh that means, “Yeah, now shut up already” when they talk to me. See? I’m not good at this.

Anyway, today one of my goals is to locate a middle-of-the-road salon somewhere in this area and make an appointment to go get this taken care of. I’m trying to change my ways. I want to look put-together and nice, and I want to be a more friendly and normal person. So hopefully, when I go for this upcoming haircut, I will be polite yet assertive; if the cut looks bad, I’m going to say something. Well…to be honest…I will TRY to say something. Baby steps.

Later this weekend, I plan to color my hair. By myself. You don’t want to know how I feel about sitting for hours with chemicals on my head and paying the outrageous price of having my hair colored at a salon. (Insert that Sideshow Bob shudder here: ‘Euuuuuuhhhh.”)