KILLING BECAUSE THEY CAN

On November 18, Japanese whaling ships left to begin an expedition to hunt over 1,000 whales. There were photos of schoolchildren happily waving the ships off as they left the harbor, as if the hunters were national heroes. Yay for killing whales! Yay for being stubborn, selfish and violent liars!

This year, they will be taking humpback whales in addition to minke and fin whales. It’s not enough that they go after whales, period…no, they have to go after one of the most beloved, iconic whales alive. Way to stir up strong feelings from the anti-whaling community.

It makes no sense whatsoever. The Japanese say they need to kill these whales to gauge their impact on the fish stocks. They do it because they exploit a loophole in the 1986 ban in commercial whaling set forth by the International Whaling Commission; whaling is permitted if it is done for “research” purposes. So that’s what they say they are doing, every year: culling whales to study their stomach contents to see how many fish they are eating, as well as study things like their earwax (yes, it’s true…they apparently can garner some very important information from the wax found in the ear canal of a whale) and reproductive organs for clues as to how the fish stocks are doing.

Yes, very scientific work, indeed. Very serious. So serious, in fact, that they are taking great pains to make sure all parts of these whales are used. And that is why whale meat can be found in stores, restaurants and even school lunches in Japan.

It’s sustainability. But for whom?

Does this help the whale populations? I doubt it. I’ve seen some sources that say the whale populations are rebounding and growing each year, and at the same time I read other documents that mention that although the populations are growing, it is still only a mere fraction of what their numbers were before whaling was out of control in the 18th and 19th centuries.

Does this help the fish populations? I don’t see how it can, logically speaking. Japan is worried that it will deplete its fish stocks in the future because it’s no longer a matter of dropping a net in the ocean and having it fill with thousands of fish within seconds. It’s harder now because there are fewer fish in the ocean. And it’s not because of whales and apex predators like sharks eating all the fish. It doesn’t take a genius to realize it’s because humans are OVERFISHING. Ever stop and think about how many more sushi restaurants you see now than you did only ten years ago? Or wonder why almost every major dish in Japanese cuisine uses seafood of some kind? Where do you think all that fish is coming from to keep the sushi restaurants and, well, the whole country of Japan, in business? The oceans. Yes, some come from fish farms, but you can’t farm enough fish to keep the stock sustainable, not with the rate that they are taken.

So it seems that the population that is actually being sustained here is the human population. We have to keep feeding all the people that are born every single day on this planet, and to do that, we have to grow more food, process more fresh water, raise more livestock, and catch more fish. And it’s not as if this wealth of resources is available everywhere, so it’s not spread out—it’s concentrated in high-density, developed parts of the world. More people than ever, eating more than ever, wasting more than ever. I wonder how this cycle can slow down, or even reverse itself, so that we can actually attain true sustainability of this entire planet. I’m not a scientist, so I don’t have any answers, of course. I just know I support anyone who is working towards a balanced future. A future that takes all elements of the natural world into a more equal account.

And here is where I make my unattractive, mean-spirited and evil statement about how I feel:

Human overpopulation is the number one problem facing this world, in my opinion. Too many damn people. We’re living longer, and there are more of us. Birth rates in certain populations are just booming. Our impact alone on this planet is enough to bring it to its knees. We’re the cause of the downward spiral, and if there were fewer of us, maybe things could start to tilt towards a balance again.

I’m not saying we KILL people. Or promote abortions, or anything like that… but I do say we promote birth control. Make it a culture of prevention. To do it on a wide scale, though, you’d need the Catholic Church to step into the 21st century and change its stance on this topic. And other religions to begin to embrace it, as well, as a part of today’s life.

Because it’s not about STOPPING life. It’s actually about sustaining life. ALL life. Not just humans. For our own long-term good, we can’t continue to behave as selfishly as we have been.

And that brings me back to the whales. Don’t they deserve to have life, just as much as the Japanese do? Why is it that all of the other countries in the IWC (except for Norway, those bastards) have accepted the ban on commercial whaling? Could they all be wrong? Is the lack of whaling going to have negative impacts on these countries down the road? Will they all run out of fish? Will the oceans be crammed with too many whales?

No, of course not.

Clearly there was some logic at work in creating the IWC itself in the first place. And there were reasons that the ban went into effect. Maybe it was the sensitive argument, about whales being sentient, warm-blooded beings that are somehow ‘better’ than your average fish…maybe it was a general concern for the natural food chain… maybe it made economic sense to stop the practice. Whatever the reasons, some very powerful countries respect this ban.

Japan is a world power. They have clout. And yet, they risk their international reputation and goodwill by continuing to hunt a resource that is highly controversial to the rest of the world. Australia is fighting mad that these Japanese hunting fleets will be harpooning whales within sanctuary waters off of Antarctica. These ships will pass through Australian waters, and kill whales that migrate to those waters to mate and feed. Australia holds whales in very high regard, and the fact that Japan would be such a poor neighbor in this way not only hurts relations but completely steps on another country’s conservation efforts. How is that right?

Right now, the whaling ships are en route to the killing grounds. Whales are going to die slow, violent deaths. It can take up to an hour for a whale to die from an explosive harpoon. Mothers will be taken from calves. Pods will be decimated. Other countries will be angered, and the Japanese will suffer backlash. Is it really all worth it, just so that some whale meat can be served up on plates? Is it worth the questionable scientific data that will supposedly be gleaned from this slaughter? (“We have determined that yes, whales eat fish. But we’re gonna have to catch another thousand or so to PROVE it.”)

I’m not about to board a Greenpeace boat and try to intercept the ships and stop the harpoons, but I definitely have no reservations about joining the large international community of intelligent people who see no real reason for this hunt to continue. This might just be one stupid little blog in a sea of millions, but that doesn’t matter. I just want to get it out there, period.

My favorite part of this whole issue is when Japanese scientists make serious public statements about the importance of this research, and why it is necessary and defending their best intentions…and at the same time, reporters will gather quotes from Japanese citizens who say things like, “We should be allowed to hunt whales because it is our tradition, and whale meat tastes good.” The press is easily uncovering the true common public opinion, making those scientists sound like hypocrites and liars. (It’s also interesting that there are a lot of articles written about how the whale meat is going to waste. Apparently, it’s not selling as fast as the traditional-whale-eating people thought it would; the younger generation is not really interested in eating whale meat. The government is pushing it in schools, making kids eat it for lunch…seemingly forcing the younger kids to support whaling, and sometimes whale meat is ending up in pet food because they don’t know what else to do with it. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like all the indicators are in place to make a clear argument against whaling—if only the stubbornness of the Japanese leaders can be overcome.)

NO MORE TREASURE!

So, it comes to this. Another one! He actually made another National Treasure movie. How could Hollywood let this happen?! THIS is how we have to bid farewell to 2007...with a Nicolas Cage? I just can't take it anymore. Where is God? Why does he let bad things like this happen?

Have you seen the previews? It's like NEW Nicolas Cage! Now with MORE mumbling and lazy faces! Does someone somewhere think this is a good idea for some reason...to let this uncharismatic bastard soil another major release movie? What about the children?! And Jesus H. Christ, in one of the previews I saw this weekend he was apparently taking off a tuxedo in some bushes. WHY...?! WHO KNOWS? All I know is if there is a movie with Nicolas Cage stripping off his clothes out in nature, I am not going to see it. I really have enough problems as it is. I don't need that kind of Cagey heat bringin' me down, too.

You have to wonder... what kind of "National Treasure" is a guy like this going to find in a deli, anyway? Stupid ass-face,no-talent, processed-meat-slicing-son of a BEEEEEEETCH.

PIZZA

Pizza is one of the perfect foods for me. It's got tomato sauce, which I love...and it has cheese, another thing I am completely enamored of...and tasty crust, which adds just the right base for all of the cheesy, saucy goodness.

I'm a purist in the sense that all I really need is a plain pie to be perfectly happy. In fact, it is my preference. Sometimes I love sliced tomatoes or spinach, or fresh basil or roasted garlic...or maybe even chicken if I am feeling adventurous... but when you get down to it, I am a cheese pizza girl all the way.

In a lot of ways I wish I did enjoy the supreme pizzas or even just the occasional mushroom or pepperoni, because it would make ordering a pizza so much easier for G & I. He's so lucky to have a palate that likes all kinds of tastes, and he is stuck with a wife with a very limited palate. It's often said I only eat seven or so foods in different combinations. It's often said by me, because it's true.

Well, cheese pie or fancy-ass pizza...it doesn't matter, because it can all make me quite full and chubby. And so I need to learn to restrain myself in front of a pizza pie. I need to hold back and know how to walk away when I am done. I say this because last night I ate five big slices of pizza like they were little cherry tomatoes. Just popped 'em in my mouth and ate, one after the other, until I felt sick and completely full. Why do I do this? Damned if I know. I mean, I know better. I know all about healthy portion sizes and all of that, and yet I still do this to myself like a yutz. And wonder why I am getting heavier and heavier all the time. Genius.

I will always love pizza. But I think I need to draw a line in the sand with myself. I need to know I can only eat so much at one sitting. If I cross the line, I have to slap myself or stab myself in the thigh with the closest sharp object...so I will learn. I will associate pain with gluttony. Oh yes, I will learn. All it will cost me is a little blood, that's all. And since it's my blood, on my hands, no one can arrest me. Right? Yeah.

I thought I had more to say today than this worthless diatribe about my pizza piggishness. It turns out I don't. And now all I have managed to do is make myself hungry again by writing this. Hungry. For pizza. Of course.

They should sell celery in pizza boxes. And maybe sprinkle the celery with some sort of new powder that makes it smell and taste a little pizza-like. I believe something like this would blow the roof off of the pizza industry. It would take off like wildfire; everyone would be wanting artificially-seasoned celery delivered to their house for parties and nights when no one wants to cook! Yeah, you know it. I'm going to market this and make so much money it will make the world vomit.

We can make celery sexy again!

CRUISE POST-MORTEM

Well, we did it. We cruised. And when our honeymoon/anniversary cruise came to a close on Friday, we were both quite ready to get off the boat.

It wasn't that the cruise totally sucked. It didn't. The boat was very nice, we had a great room with a cool balcony, and the food at the buffet was pretty damn good. The problem is, we are just not the kind of people who are designed to go on cruises. I think we both knew this on some level going in, but we stayed upbeat and hopeful that it would be very cool once we gave it a try.

Don't get me wrong...we had a wonderful time together. When we were off on our own at the ports of call, we had a lot of fun, took tons of pictures and had a good time just being us. It's just that it sucked in a big way whenever it was time to get back on the boat and give up our short-lived independence. It was much better when we were not dealing with the Cruise People, is all.

Ah, jeez. These people...! First of all, the majority of them were old and/or Asians, and I feel confident in saying that none of them could possibly be in the upper tiers of their families' gene pools. People do not know how to queue up for anything--they more or less mob up, and hope everyone can get through a door at the same moment. They think they can just jump in and grab food all willy-nilly at the buffets. After standing out in the hot sun for 40 minutes waiting for a ferry boat, and finally reaching the ramp to board the boat, they would do dumb things like take that time to stop and stare at some fish down in the water (mind you, they had ALL DAY to look at fish in the water by this point) and chatter in some other language as the people behind them in line are about to strangle them for holding everyone up. In general, I realized that I just don't like people all that much, especially when I have to spend so much time in close proximity to so many of them. I get a little crazy-eyed, I think. And a little stabby. Good thing I didn't have my knives.

The cruiseline staff isn't much better. What the HELL is the deal with taking your photo whenever you board or get off the boat? It's like they carefully considered just how perfectly this practice would slow down the process and annoy as many people as possible. Of course, the Cruise People seemed to LOVE getting their photos taken, and would stop and gather their cruisin' partners and pose for the pushy photographers like they had all the time in the world. And the silly mandatory safety drill was chaotic. We stood in place with safety vests on waiting for something to happen, and nothing really did, and then afterwards the tiny hallways were absolutely crammed with slowly-plodding people for the next twenty minutes as everyone shuffled back to their rooms. Which begs the question: is that how the hallways of the ship would be had it been an actual emergency? Oh, Christ. Everyone's gonna die. All because people are big dumb animals and a cruise ship is a poorly-designed holding pen.

There was a nice, stinky casino on board, too, full of gray-colored old smokers and frantic Red Hat Society ladies betting on those crazy slots! Right next to the duty-free shops that sold nothing but expensive tacky jewelry, old lady clothes and perfume, and overpriced souvenirs. We did enjoy a little piano bar for awhile...until the drunkies showed up and proceeded to destroy the mellow mood with their loud drunkenness. Or the other time we went there, and the late "show" got out and people filed through the piano bar in another slow-moving wave of idiots; a long line of idle chatter, walkers, and Asians in hip Harajuku Lovers clothes that seemed to be without end...

OK! On the positive side, we took a ferry over to Coronado Island while we were docked in San Diego, and that was a nice time. We rented bikes and rode out to the hotel where Greg proposed. The next day we were on Catalina Island, which really impressed me. I wasn't so much impressed with the touristy strip of stores along the harbor in Avalon, but I was into the history of the island and the fact that 88% of it will never be developed because it is a nature conservancy. We went on a tour of the historic Catalina Casino (not an actual gambling casino; it was really a theater and dance hall) and took lots of photos. Our final stop was in Ensenada, Mexico, and that was fun in its own way, too. Maybe not as picturesque and relaxing as the other two destinations, but still okay. We went on a bus tour to see "La Bufadora" and survived walking through the open air market, where we were repeatedly accosted by yelling Mexican store vendors handing us coupons for their stores and urging us to come in and see their sterling silver or leather handbags.

After that, we left the tour group after we got a free beer while watching a mariachi band at a cultural center (those are the dudes in the picture on the top of the post) and went shopping in town. We purchased three prints by a very talented Surrealist artist, Remedios Varo, after having the store owner enthusiastically tell us the "story" of each painting. I think that speaking to that man, and spending time just gazing at those paintings, was one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. We couldn't leave that store without taking home at least one of those prints.

We took a bus out to LA and back again, and that was a good idea because the whole thing cost us only $31 roundtrip for two tickets. Not too bad-- I'd recommend it because they are nice, comfortable buses and sometimes they even show movies onboard to help pass the time. The only problem was, I don't think the company has all the kinks worked out yet, because we had to wait about an hour on the first part of the trip since the bus broke down in Phoenix, and then coming home we couldn't get a straight answer about what time we would arrive back in Tempe. Was it 9pm or 11pm? Turned out it was 11pm. Either way, it was still better than driving ourselves and paying for all that gas. We got to sleep, read and zone out while someone else did the driving, which was really worth it.

Overall? I am glad we went away and had that time to ourselves, and got to see some of the things we saw. However, I doubt we would do a cruise again. It's not for us. Next time, we just go somewhere on our own and make up our own schedules as we go along. And hopefully, stay far away as possible from any mobs of morons. This is probably a pipe dream...where on earth is really devoid of moron-mobs, anyway?...but one can wish. Maybe our next trip will be to the middle of nowhere, North Dakota, or something.

I'm just glad to be back!

BOAT TRIP!
Oh mah god, y'all. I haven't posted all week long. I logged on here today completely expecting to see that I posted at least around Wednesday or so, but imagine my surprise when it appeared I hadn't done anything at all. Not on Wednesday, not even Thursday...not ever.

I'm going to be away for all of next week, too...which makes my lack of blogging this week all the more tragic. Blogging will be impossible, since we will be miles from land and I refuse to pay insane fees to access the internets from a cruise ship.

It's Cruise Time!
Not Tom Cruise time; oh god, NO. Who needs that? Nope, it's time for Greg and I to set out on our Honeymoon Cruise Adventure to Mexico. I'm giddy excited. It's my first vacation since we took off last year for our wedding, and this trip serves not only as our honeymoon, but a first-anniversary trip, since we were married on November 11 and the cruise leaves port on November 12.

We've never been on a cruise, and I have heard both absolute horror stories and glowing testimonials regarding the cruise experience. Could we be stuck trapped on a boat with a bunch of pasty baby boomers wearing socks with sandals? How likely is it we will get food poisoning? How horrible will the live entertainment be? What if we fall overboard? Or...what if it is FUCKING AWESOME and we have a great time? Could it be relaxing/beautiful/fun? We could stay safely onboard and have fun at the port stops, and enjoy good food, drink and lounging around. Who knows what's going to happen?

I mean, we could end up being entertained by saucy performers like this!

Or meet new friends like this!

I hope it doesn't turn out like this, though. I don't need the "fires of hell a-glowing" on this trip, personally:

Ah, nothing makes me want to drink like Willy Wonka. Speaking of, there's a stupid policy that says you can't bring any alcohol on board the ship. If we were to buy some while we were in port, for example, we'd have to turn it over to the ship and we could get it back when we get back and disembark at the end of the cruise. That's crap. Of course, the cruise ship is going to hose us on drinks. I resent this hosing. I know that "booze is how they make their money" since everything else is included, but STILL. At the very least, they could have the decency to charge retail rates like those in the grocery store or something. I do appreciate a beer or two, and I am not looking forward to paying $6 for each of those beers. I plan to grumble, make a scene and generally be a bitch to the bar staff.

Well, booze rules aside (like that? I'm a poet), it should be pretty cool and I know we'll have a good time one way or another. I just hope this won't turn out to be one of them gay cruises like Horatio Sanz and Cuba Sled Dogs Jr. ended up on. Like, half the ship will be gay men and the other half will be lesbians, and Greg and I get split up, and the whole trip is ruined for us all because of a little mishap in reservations. Ay de mi!

WEEKEND WITH THE HARD-OF-HEARING GIRL

It started on Friday, when I followed my instincts to the hair salon at the new Wal-Mart. Yeah, it's true: I got a Wal-Mart haircut. However, it should be noted that the salons inside the Wal-Mart are merely renting the space from Wal-Mart; the salon I visited was in fact owned by Regis (not Philbin; the hair-style place). I got a decent haircut and actually conversed with the stylist for the first time in years. She was a nice older woman, who reminded me of my Mom. The whole thing, including tip, came to $18. I also found a T-shirt for Greg that I have been wanting to get for him for awhile, and it was on clearance. Double score for the Wal-Mart.

Then, Greg and I went out to dinner at a very lovely Mexican restaurant in east Mesa. It was so adorable and pretty, and I really enjoyed the food. I can get very intolerant of Mexican food, mainly because a lot of the time it's very greasy and spicy, but this place was about perfect.

Saturday morning, Greg's team won, and it was excellent because it was an actual televised game, so he got to see it happen. We had a nice day overall, and finished it by watching some Veronica Mars, season 2 episodes from Netflix. I miss that show.

And yesterday, we went to a breakfast buffet at Sweet Tomatoes (and we won't do it again), and then took the big dogs to the dog park. This was Indy's second-ever visit to a dog park, and he just loves it. Hailie did great though, too. The two of them just took off running when they got there, and Hailie even climbed up on some concrete tunnels and jumped down and ran through them. Indy ran through the tunnels too, but didn't jump up on top. I took pictures, so as soon as I remember to do it, I'd likely post one or two here. Indy was so cute, running up to every dog and making nice...and chasing after any dog that took off running. Only problem is, that little stinker kept going down by the entrance/exit gates, especially when someone was coming in with a new dog. Either he thinks he's the welcome wagon, or he is trying to escape. Hailie, on the other hand? Perfect princess. Stayed right with us, or checked in frequently. Either way, they both had a great time and I'd excited to take them back again.

My Mom bought me some new shoes yesterday when we went out with my sister, and we all had dinner at Logan's Roadhouse. It was a good meal, although my criticisms were that the house salad was way too small, and the place was very loud. I guess the servers scream at the top of their lungs when it's someone's birthday, and given the high ceilings and hard floors in the space, that shit reverberated to the point that my ears actually HURT from the screaming. And it was all the way on the other side of the restaurant. Plus, they had a couple of games on TV in there, so every time something happened that made the fans in the restaurant excited, all you could hear were loud claps and "YEAH!"s and it made it hard to hold a conversation. If ever a place could use acoustic ceilings, it's that place.

But then again, my hearing ain't what it used to be. I noticed a couple of years ago that being at a concert or show really made my ears HURT. And the ringing afterwards would last into the next morning. I have this feeling that my ears were irreparably damaged by one single show in particular: a Pop Will Eat Itself concert I went to in 1994 at the Stone Pony. I remember it being the loudest show I'd ever been to up until that point, and we stood right near a speaker, too. The Stone Pony isn't a big venue, so it was small and the sound just crushed me. We stopped at a 7-11 on the way home and I remember being scared when I couldn't hear my boyfriend asking me what I wanted. I saw his mouth moving, but it was like being underwater. It was weird. And it hurt. Ever since then, I think each show I attend has been steadily chipping away at my loud-sound tolerance. Luckily, now I use earplugs, and that has cut down on the problems very much. Still, it's sad that I never listened to the warnings when I was younger. I should go to schools and talk to kids about the sad tragedy of my lost hearing, yes?

For some reason, when I think of my hearing loss from being at a loud show, I think of that PWEI show first, and then soon after I get a mental image of Whitesnake. And I don't know why. I just picture them, standing there, being all 80's metal... even though I never listened to them other than what they played on the radio, and I certainly never attended a show. Isn't it weird what associations our brains form sometimes? (Another one I have is I associate penguins with blenders. Because my sister and I used to play a game called Things That Don't Go Together, and that was one of the combinations one time. It stuck and now I picture penguins hanging out on the ice with a few blenders sitting there next to them.)

So, to bring this around to a closing point: it was a nice weekend. Especially since we got to watch four episodes in a row of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia on FX before bed. Ahhhh. (If you've seen "The Gang Gets Whacked," let me just say that I think Dennis made a 'handsome companion' for the rich old ladies, especially when he danced to "Two of Hearts" by Stacey Q. And the fact that Frank knew that "every pimp needs a chalice" just warms my heart. I'm glad Charlie didn't do a line off of Buster's boner, though! That would have been too much.)

Good day to you!

NEGLECT!

I thought of something to say to someone who hasn't updated their blog in a really long time: "If your blog were a baby, it would have died in a hot car by now."

Problem is, I am a wimp and I would never have the chutzpah to ever really say that to the lapsed bloggers. I'll just keep being passive agressive. It's way better that way.

I neglect a lot of things, myself. I neglect my hair. I only get it trimmed maybe twice a year, and even then I go for the cheapest, most bargain-basement GreatClipsSuperCut deal I can find. And I leave with a wet head. Like some idiot. ("Hey, look at that girl with the wet hair over there, shuffling her way across the parking lot! She must be one of them poor welfare idiots I've heard about!")

I neglect my fingernails. I don't paint them much. And I only clip and file them after they've grown to their ugly, flat and long usual proportions. My fingernails are healthy for the most part, so that's good. But they grow so that they are very wide at the top. My sister calls them "Pope fingernails" because they grow in the shape of the Pope's hat. I do try to keep my Pope fingernails in order, but I'll admit that I don't spend a lot of time remembering I have fingers in the first place, so the time between clip-n'-files gets pretty long sometimes.

I neglect to eat a balanced diet everyday. It's too much work. I love vegetables and fruit, so that's in my favor. And I prefer chicken and turkey to red meat, sure. But I do eat an improper amount of sugar each day. And with all the Healthy Choice dinners I've been eating lately, my sodium intake is probably pretty high. Eat healthy? Yeah, sure. I'll start tomorrow. Or sometime. Can I have another cupcake, please?

I neglect to clean my car. Seriously, don't look at my back seat right now. It looks like a dog exploded back there. It might be the worst it's ever been. Actually, you probably couldn't look into my back seat because the windows are so smeared up with dog snot and saliva that all you'll see is a haze of white on the gray seats. A haze of fuckin' filth.

I neglect to think. More often than not, my attention span ruins life for me. I hear things, and then they just fluttter away like so much feathers on the wind when the next thing comes along to think about. You might ask me about something we talked about last week and I will have NO IDEA what you're talking about. But I could tell you the plot of the last It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I could try harder to retain information, and challenge myself to engage my brain, but do I do it? Nope. I'll just coast through life being this stupid for as long as I can get away with it, I guess.

I neglect the homeless and orphans. But doesn't everyone? It's not like they're real people.

So as you can see, I am a neglectful person without a lot of worth to add to this society. Yet, here I am! And until someone shoots me down in a blaze of glory like my hero, Jon Bon Jovi*, I am not going anywhere, either.

*Yes, I know that Jon Bon Jovi was never actually shot, and he is still supposedly alive. I know that it was only a song. But it was an AWESOME song, and I intend to continue to let it guide my life's path. As I have since I first heard it back in the early 90s. It's rare a song speaks to one's soul so well.