One of the radio stations here seems to really love that Fergie. It's not my top station choice, but rather a second-tier choice when the other stations are running ads, so I don't listen to it all that much. But every time I do listen, I can be pretty sure that I will hear "Big Girls Don't Cry" in the time I have linger on that station. Last night was no exception-- as I drove over to the gym, it came on, and I admit I left that shit on longer than I should have because ever since then, that song has been stuck in my head like one of the deepest-burrowing earworm ever. I can't stop hearing the chorus over and over... "and I'm gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket!" (not even proper English, either) and wanting to stick my head in the lit oven with a fistful of lit matches in my hand just to stop it. NO SONG should be THIS stuck.
Probably a little extreme, that measure. But really, even listening to other music today, even EIGHTIES POP, is not doing the trick. I even listened to Falco, here! Amadeus didn't even rock those Big Girls out of the way. And no quantity of Luftballoons was enough, either...and believe me, Nena really tried hard:
This is serious. What the hell am I supposed to do?! I have work to accomplish today! I can't shut her up long enough to hear myself think.
Also, I am still pretty upset that she's not even the real Fergie. I happen to like singing Duchesses, especially singing Duchesses who eat Weight Watchers chocolate snack cakes and talk with a swanky British accent. I refuse to picture that pants-peeing, overly-made-up humps-obsessed singer when I hear that song. Besides, Fergie, the real one, would be the one to sing about Big Girls, wouldn't she? What with her previous Big Girl status and all? Maybe she's overweight again. I don't know, because I can't remember the last time I saw her anywhere. Although I wouldn't mind seeing her singing this song sometime. It would set something at ease within my soul and stop the raging confusion.
Although, now that I think about it, and play that video up there more and more, maybe 99 Luftballoons really ARE going by! Come on, STICK in my head now, damn it! I need you more than ever, Luftballoons!
5 comments:
I like the song, but I have EXACTLY the same Fergie issues.
Not EVEN Falco? Man, that IS bad. What can I think of to help... hmmm. I like me some Neneh Cherry "Who's lookin' good today? Who's lookin' good in ev-ry way? No money man could win my lo-ove!..."
Oh, am making you a cd with The Weepies song on it and have misplaced your mailing address...
Fergie looks like a burn victim who had reconstructive surgery on her face and now it's all plastic-y.
Either that or a mom who's trying to look young again.
She needs to go away and stop trying to be Gwen Stefani. Also on a related note, Gwen Stefani needs to try to be Gwen Stefani again.
Ha!
Ah, I know what you mean. Except that the song stuck in my noggin is "Xanadu" as sung by the now more mature Olivia Newton-John. Friggin' PBS telethons burning that into my psyche.
Perhaps because the holidays are upon us, a good five-time repeat of Jennifer Love Hewitt's cover of "Last Christmas" should do the trick. Just say the word.
Shades- So glad I am not alone with the Fergie issues. Today is a LOT better! Yesterday, not only did I hear Falco at home but it came on again in the car later in the day, too! So the universe really was trying to help me out with this, and for that I am grateful, Universe. At least you tried. (PS: Thank you in advance for CD awesomeness!)
Trish-- Yup, it is a plastic-y face she's got there. The real Fergie never looked plastic AND she was a redhead. Way cooler.
You and I should make some shirts that say, "GWEN STEFANI, PLEASE GO AWAY." Then again, we have a LOT of shirts in the queue don't we? We've been coming up with "shirts" for years now and when will we ever make 'em?!
"and I'm gonna miss you, like a child misses their blanket!" (not even proper English, either)
Yes! Damn. Thank you! Thank you for pointing this out. It's just one of the (many) reasons why I hate that damn song.
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