They might as well call this CrazyTown this weekend. It's not really Phoenix anymore because this is Superbowl Weekend, and the Superbowl is taking place right here in the new Cardinals arena out in Glendale. Tomorrow. (...and there was much rejoicing. Yay.)
For weeks now, there have been signs that the Superbowl was coming. Superbowl memorabilia stores have popped up in some of the strip malls, and apparently some people are getting rich by renting out their homes for the week to people in town for this massive event. According to the signs on the side of the road and articles I've read in the paper, some people are charging up to $1,000 a day to rent their homes. Wow. All the hotels are booked up, the rental car agencies are outta Ford Focus(i?)and the big, stupid parties are underway not far from where we live. It's strange.
Tonight, for example, I am sitting home, nursing a bad cold, in our mellow little home with the dogs, watching Children of Men curled up on the couch with the crossword book, when I hear the loud booms of fireworks outside. It's been going on now for over an hour! Holy crap. LOUD...! That's an understatement...right now, I just had to get up and go look outside because I swear to God it is so loud and rhythmic that it sounds like the Cloverfield monster is down there at Tempe Town Lake, destroying everything and the Army is trying to take it down with massive bombs. Seriously! I am not exaggerating how loud it is. I am starting to wonder if anything went wrong down there. Especially since when I went outside to look, there were no fireworks in the sky like there had been earlier. Just loud sonic BOOMS. Spooky. I might have to call my husband to come home from hanging out with the guys just in case it IS the Cloverfield monster; if we're under attack by a creature like that, I'm pretty confident that Greg's spacial intelligence and MacGyver-like skills could keep us alive fairly long.
Whew. It's quieting down now. I guess I can relax now, and put this bag of Kibbles n' Cyanide back into the bomb shelter (I don't want the dogs to suffer at the hands of the Cloverfield monster, or any aliens that might attack, etc.) and stop peeing into this jar so I can save my urine up for distillation. Ah, hell, I'm not gonna stop midstream.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Superbowl.
I guess that some big parties are going on here these days. Maxim is having a big party, and Snoop Dogg was doing the BudBowl at one of the trendy nightclubs in Scottsdale... I think Paris Hilton is there at that one, according to things I heard on the radio. The Victoria's Secret Angels are on the main home page of our newspaper (I guess they are doing something somewhere tonight, whatever), and people like Mario Lopez and Nick Lachey are making the rounds. All of this less than five miles from where I'm sitting right now. To which I say, GO HOME, CELEBS and HOOKERS! We don't want your kind around here. Blehhh. You suck. Stupid big-football-game hangers-on, that's all ya are. Good for nothings, the whole lot of you.
Maybe I am just feeling irritable tonight. Do I have a fever? Gosh, I might. All I know is, there is NO REASON whatsoever to release the Cloverfield Monster and Paris Hilton in the same night, on the same city. Superbowl or not.
I wouldn't mind seeing Snoop, though. He makes me laugh. Even in pixelated photos. Heee!
Also, our next door neighbors have been throwing a big FIESTA! tonight. I say FIESTA! because they have been blasting Mexican music for hours and hours, and their entire backyard is lit up by floodlights. Cars are parked up and down the street. So whenever I have stepped outside tonight, I have seen fireworks in the sky towards my right, and to my left I am inundated with Mexican music and loud screams of merriment. Ay de mi! With all this chaos, I would not be surprised if this cold I've got takes a wrong turn into pneumonia territory. Could happen! And when I am dying in some oxygen tent somewhere, I will raise my outraged fist to the heavens and curse the Superbowl, the Cloverfield Monster, Paris Hilton and the Mexicans.
8 comments:
Yay! Cruel Shoes came to my blog! I feel so honored. I have seen your comments on Shades and Ethal's blogs for some time and always meant to come over and see you and me being the scatter-brained fool that I am, kept totally forgetting. But then there you showed up and I immediately came over to see your blog.
I am so excited for the Super Bowl tomorrow but that could be because my boys, The Pats, are playing. I am sure there are some inconvienances living in Super Bowl city at this time, but it must be exciting too!
And hey, by living in Phoenix I do believe you are the closest blogger to me here in Vegas. I added you to my blog links if that is okay too.
Oh and thank you so much for the book suggestions. I will be adding them to my list. And I love that you are a Twilight fan too!
Girl, I feel for you. I hate football and hate the superbowl and for you to go through all of this WITH A COLD NO LESS, is really terrible. This reminds me of a girl I used to talk to who lived in Bensonhurst Brooklyn, who had the same thing going on when Italy was playing in the World Cup. Guidos on floats lighting fire crackers and yelling down the street. Ugh, so irritating. I am not sure what it worse the guidos or the loud Mexicans and paris Hilton? Hmmm, that's a toss up.
Oh, and feel better btw. Being sick stinks....
Stupid Super Bowl Cloverfield Mexican Fiesta. Although, to be fair, the Mexican Fiesta part does make me kind of hungry.
Okay, I had to comment twice because everyone else did and also because the wordver for the second comment is "outcr". Like outcry! Like your outcry of pain over the Super Bowl madness...? Yeah?
No? Okay. I'll go home.
I can't believe you and VP have taken this long to make the blog circle- I have considered you all "knowing each other" because of me, and it always blows my mind that you really don't, well, didn't.. anyway...
Your post reminded me of Indy during race weekend- yuck.
VP- Thanks! I've added you to my links as well...it is strange that we haven't made this connection till now given our comment-links and what-not. Anyways, Welcome with a capital Welcome. And yay for west coast bloggers, we hafta represent!
Naynay- The imagery of guidos going down the streets on big guido-floats and setting off firecrackers is pretty damn funny, but I bet it isn't funny in real life. So I am guessing that the guidos are worse than Mexicans & Paris Hilton. Although... her VD's probably push it over the line. The Mexicans never had a chance. (I'm not sure I wrote about what happens in our neighborhood on Good Friday. We end up with 200+ Mexicans on our LAWN as a Passion Play makes its way through the neighborhood. Fun times.) I am doing my best to not be sick anymore, just to make ya proud!
Christina- Funny thing is, I was hungry all day today for burritos. I finally had to go get one at Chipotle. I wonder if the FIESTA! was the reason behind this craving. Hmmm. I think the word verification thingie was right on last night with that "outcr" business. Sometimes the universe just comes together like dat. What's funny is, since I have been sick I have been home all weekend, save the Chipotle trip, so I have actually avoided all of the traffic and real chaos of the weekend. So all in all I had little to cry out about, I guess. Especially this morning when I woke up and there was nothing on the news about a Cloverfield attacking the city. Which is kind of a bummer, in a way.
Shades- Yes, it's strange that Vegas Princess and I took this long to close the circle. But it was through you, even though I know about 4 of you or so have her linked up already. Also: for a second I thought you were talking about my dog during race week, and not Indianapolis. I was like, "How did you know how crazy Indy gets during race week? But then again he is crazy every week." We get some big races out at the Phoenix Raceway sometimes, and every winter it's the FBR Golf tournament and Barrett-Jackson car show in Scottsdale. I used to work right in the heart of FBR/Barrett territory and it made life HELL for weeks. Actually, this city in general is ALWAYS packed anymore. I guess the secret's out: we have warm winters. Everyone wants in on that shit! :)
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