I, like most Americans, have been chewing Bazooka gum since I was a baby, almost. Today I am chewing it again, and I just wanted to say that Bazooka Joe is such an asshole jerkoff not-funny bastard retard. Those comics are NEVER funny. You'd have to be deep in a coma to laugh at his antics. And even then you'd probably choke on the respirator tube because you would realize on some deep level of consciousness that Bazooka Joe is not funny, and you'd be emabrassed you laughed, so you'd try to stop it-- hence, the choking.

The comic I am holding right now depicts Joe and his friend, Pesty, out fishing. It reads:
"Hi Pesty!"
"Hi, Joe!"
"Did you get any bites yet?"
"No, I don't think my worm is really trying!"

Ohhhh, stop it, Joe. You too, Pesty. You're killing me. I have to go to the hospital now and have them pump all the NOT LAUGHING out of my gut.

And another thing, what does it mean when someone tells you that you are full of, "piss and vinegar"? What a combination. And if I am full of it, through which orifice do you expect this concoction to escape from? You can't stay full of piss and vinegar for long, I know that much. That would burn like... the worst fire in the history of man! And how did the piss and vinegar get inside me? Was there a funnel that was inserted into my skull, or was it soaked-in following a swim? And how do you know that's what I am full of? I could be full of vanilla ice cream and honey-baked ham, but how would you know... you're too busy assuming I am full of piss and vinegar. Looks like you're gonna miss out.

Anyway, I don't mean to yell at YOU, per se. I am really berating Bazooka Joe when I use the phrase "you." That punk's full of nothing but piss and vinegar.

My mother always says the same thing when we go out somewhere: "Well, it's nice to get out and let the stink blow off of us." She is probably so tired of smelling this whole rotten family! And that kind of "stink" (aka: sin) is never blown off.