Just now in the drugstore, I was standing online getting annoyed because the line was moving slow, and I look over and read the following headline on this week's Weekly World News:

SADDAM AND OSAMA ADOPT SHAVED APE BABY

I fucking lost it. I started giggling and by the time I got up to the cashier I was smirking all over the goddamn place. I was mildly worried the cashier would think I was laughing at her, but then I realized I simply didn't care that much.

Then the lady is looking at my business credit card (I was purchasing film for a little road trip to a bus company later today) and then at me, then back at the card. Finally, she asks: "Is it... Arn-seth?"
I am used to people being unable to pronounce my name. "Yes."
"What kind of name is that?"
"I think it's Norwegian or German or something."
"Hmm, that's a different name. Never heard it before." I notice she has the letters "RDM" tattooed on her hand above her thumb and I start picturing her in women's prison. Probably her job there was to shave ape babies and ship them out to insane foreign dictators. I don't know what RDM stands for.