Crap! I am tired! I've been "Conferencing" the last two days and I am exhausted. Today I ran something akin to a teleprompter to get the diva Executives in my company to say stuff while they were on the conference stage. Twice a cable came loose and they couldn't read what I was furiously typing ("WRAP IT UP! 20 MINUTES OVER! PLEASE GET OFF THE STAGE! YOUR STOCKBROKER CALLED AND SAID TWO WORDS--BAD NEWS! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP!!) and another time, a speaker just decided to skip a whole planned segment for no good reason, making everyone backstage scramble and drop headphones and cue up things early and all kinds of chaos. Still, it was better than yesterday, when I had to stand in place for exactly 2 1/2 hours, just so I could tell anyone who happened to walk by that "the Registration desk for Conference is down to your left." That's all. For two hours. And an extra half of another hour. Standing. Still. Pointing. Fake-smiling. Yeouch. It really hurt like the dickins.

Did I misspell dickins? I guess it depends on your preference. Maybe you like "dickens" better. Maybe you are from a foreign land; you know, one of those lands that smells it "colour" instead of "color" like it is here in the good ol' US of A. Whatever. Anyway...

So I am tired, but wanted to write about crap for a minute before I eat me some dinner and wash me some laundry. I have one more day of conference, tomorrow. More teleprompting from my laptop, more handing of notecards to diva Executives, more blue Oxford shirt with company logo emblazoned on the pocket with corporate-approved khaki pants. Yes, sign me up for the good times! I am so on it. Like a hooker on the amoxillan, I love the corporate life.

Holy hell. Now even my metaphors aren't making sense. Time to eat and sleep. Good bye now!