Hey bitchez! Whassup?! Shit.

I missed this. I missed the green background and the other refinements that make the blog the pinnacle of absolute class. So I came back.

My hiatus was very nice. I got to do some fun things. I could tell you about them if you want, or I could leave you hanging in suspense. Yeah, I will make you wait for it. Yes, that's it, exactly! Suffer! Wait! I think I am getting into some sort of Sadist phase. (See what a hiatus can do to a girl? It makes you CRAZY and makes you crave power and pain-giving. Um, by the way, I am not sure that's what's supposed to happen during a hiatus. I think I was supposed to relax, chill out, sip iced tea and fan myself on the back porch as I napped in the hazy afternoon sun. But that's not what happened. I got MEAN instead, GRRRRRRR!)

Actually, the truth is I just stayed busy and I am still busy. The deal is we are doing this conference-thingie at work and I am writing materials for it like a douchebag. I say that because any reasonable person who is not a douchebag would have quit by now. Either way, 40 hours of my week are pure moroniacal.(Yes, that's a word I made up, and it means, roughly "being a moron of such enthusiastic levels as to be considered a maniac.")

But the sadism thing is funny, especially as Go Fug Yourself recently applied it to Sharon Stone. Check this out. I love the last sentence: "...so get down on your knees and beg mommy for a cookie before she rips out a hunk of your hair and spanks you with a slice of Honeybaked Ham."

Seriously, dudes. I am gonna write more later when I have some time, because I want to tell you about Tucson, my experience with "Brokeback Mountain" and my thoughts on an all-German version of "The Squid Und Der Whale." Oh, it's not all that good, mind you, but you'll probably like it anyway. Oh, come on now, you know I saw you; you were totally eating Crisco out of the can with doodoo sprinkles yesterday-- you'll eat anything.