So, here's the back of some guy we just saw in Denny's tonight. He had the bushiest head of white hair I have ever seen on a man, and he was sitting at the counter just bothering the wait staff and being overly creepy. I had to take the picture with the "candlelight" setting so the flash wouldn't go off and alert him to our presence; that's why it's so dark. I just wonder: what battle was he on the payroll for? Or... is he advocating battling with a staff (bo staff, perchance?)? Gosh darn it anyway, we may never know.

Also, he was the Third Albino of the Night. Greg and I went to a music festival tonight and we kept seeing old dudes with gray or white long hair everywhere we went. In fact, this one very andorgynous dude-- the First Albino-- was at every single venue we were at. I'd look up and see him there, not far from us. He was taking pictures of all the bands and standing around being creepy in his shorts and I-swear-they-were-shaved legs. Second Albino was just another guy, also in shorts, with long blondish-gray hair, hanging out in a bar and looking like he only wants to be a Lord of the Rings elf or something. I know he goes home and wishes for the money to finally get the plastic surgery to get the Legolas ears. When these Albinos take their pants off, there are no genitals-- just a shimmery, sparkly area of stars and pixie-ness. (I can't take credit for this imagery, that's all my lovely fiance's idea)

By the way, none of them were real albinos. We just called them that. It made it easy to go, "Oh! Behind you! First Albino is here!" and we both would know who-or-what we meant.

As for the Third Albino of the night, ol' Battle Staff... he was just unsettling. He said to the waitress behind the counter at one point: "I don't want you to take this personally or nothin', but you are very attractive." Let the record show that the waitress was NOT at all attractive. She was a squirrely little 50-odd year old woman with stringy colorless hair pulled back with a scrunchie, who totally looked like she was working hard to put her meth days behind her and straighten up by working the Sunday night shift at the Denny's. God, the whole scenario was just so sad, now that I reflect on it. Christ. Good thing we ate and got out of there before he said anything else totally depressing. You just got the feeling that Battle Staff is in that Denny's nearly every night of the week... just hoping for some Denny waitress tail (that he is never going to get).

I gotta go and watch TV now. The best of the Soup is on E! and I can hear Greg laughing it up like a happy-man out there. At least I did get to see the "Riding the Bus with My Sister" parody commercial they did this past summer. There's few things that are better, comedically-speaking, than Rosie O'Donnell playing a retarded woman who rides a bus, with a laugh track over it.

Watch out for albinos! And have a wonderful day, all y'all.