Squirrel Attack!*
I think squirrels are cute. So are raccoons, and even skunks have adorable little faces and nice, fluffy tails (just ignore the stink). Yet these little creatures have terrified me in my sleep over the years.

I'm someone who dreams a lot, and I dream very vivid, lucid dreams. But I am prone to the occassional ridiculous nightmare. My main reoccuring dream is that I am locked out of a building with a small animal coming after me. Usually it is a squirrel, but raccoons, skunks and possums have all made appearances in my nightmares.

I don't get it! How come when I see these creatures in real life I am not scared of them at all (well, except for the possum and the skunk), yet in the dreamworld they are out to get me? What could it be about little furry creatures that goes right to the heart of darkness within my soul? Is it the whiskers? Or the tiny scampering feet? The fact that they can climb trees and jump on a person if they so desired? Or maybe it's just the mites that probably live in their fur. Yeah. I bet it's the mites.

I started dreaming this way when I was still in elementary school. I had this same dream many times as a kid: I am walking home from the bus stop after school; I notice a small animal following me down the street -- sometimes ducking into bushes or hiding behind car tires when I looked back. But it was definitely following me. And I would feel dread in the dream, and start to run. I would get to the house only to find no one home, and the door is locked. I usually had no key. I'd see the little creature coming closer and closer to me as I frantically tried to get into the house. I always woke up (and still wake up) before the little animal reaches my legs.

And over the years, this dream has changed very little, but the interesting thing is that the locations in the dreams have changed. I dream of other houses we lived in in NJ, and apartments I've lived in here in Arizona, and a few months ago I dreamed our current house. In that case, I was in the backyard in my dream, and a squirrel jumped over the block wall and chased me as I ran to the backdoor, which was, of course, locked.

I'll probably never know why I dream this, and at this point I'd bet that I'll continue to have a variation on this dream for the rest of my life from time to time. That's interesting to me... that my brain likes to 'play' this little dream-plot over and over again, only it switches up the details.

I sort of wish the dream would be funnier. I would like to dream that I am in Vegas, at a high-roller poker table or something. In the dream, I know how to play poker. And I am cool; hip, even. I am suave, for a lady. People are crowding around to watch me play. But then, out of the corner of my eye, appears the dreaded squirrel. He's running over the gaudy casino carpet, right towards me, dodging cocktail waitresses. I throw my cards up and run away, towards the elevators...but DAMN IT, where is that goddamn elevator? I am pushing buttons frantically as other tourists look at me nervously. I see the squirrel approaching (and he is now wearing a little showgirl outfit) and I scream as I wake up.

Or maybe I dream I am climbing up a snowy Mt. Everest. At last, me and my team reaches the peak. We set up camp for the cold night. I pitch a tent, and head over to the little delicatessan that has been opened up on Mt. Everest. It's a decent deli, with a great turkey sandwich. As I head back to my tent in the snow, out of the corner of my goggled eyes appears the dreaded snow squirrel. It scampers over the snow towards me, wearing what looks like little snowshoes. I drop my hot chocolate and scream as I plow through snow and whipping wind towards my tent. Even the sled dogs, and Cuba Gooding Jr., who is there to tend to said sled dogs, do nothing but howl forlornly and look helpless as I plod past. The squirrel is GETTING CLOSER, and I get to my tent...but DAMN IT, the zipper is stuck! What the hell do I do now? The air is thin, I get dizzy as the squirrel leaps towards my snow-panted legs, and I scream as I wake up.

So, in closing, here's hoping my brain takes a clue from these lovely scenarios and mixes my inevitable reoccuring chased-by-rodents dreams up a little. I consider myself a somewhat creative person, so I just want my dreams to get with the program and try a little harder. There's potential hidden in this misshapen skull of mine.

*Much thanks to Diane for that photo.