As of late, I have begun to think I have a brain disorder. It’s because I just feel like my comprehension is totally out the window when it comes to listening to things. I forget what people tell me on a frequent basis. The good news is, my visual memory is just fine. But it’s becoming abundantly clear that I don’t retain information very well at the moment if it is only given to me audibly. Why is that?
I’m a little worried, to be honest. I have no clue why this happens.

I have always been a visual-memory person. I can always remember a face but never a name (unless that name was written down. I will remember a name if I saw it in writing). I don’t get lost when I drive, because I orient myself visually and while I might not recall street names, I will always know landmarks and stuff. When I used to memorize lines for plays, I would memorize it by page and when things got tough, I would “flip” the pages in my mind to remember where I was. I’ve also been known to memorize lines by actually writing them all out, line for line, in a notebook. I know other people that memorize by making tapes and listening to them over and over, and that really doesn’t work at all for me.

So anyway, the way I recall things has not changed. I just think that I am losing more and more of the audible-memory all the time. Aren’t I a little young to be this forgetful?

The reason I am worried the most is in reference to my boyfriend. Yes, I have one at the moment--and he happens to be the type of guy that is so awesome that you really feel like "is this happening to me-- is this really THIS healthy and good?" He's awesome. I won the "Boyfriend Lottery." I have kept a strict policy in place of not sharing the minute details here, for fear of jinxing it or something; but more so that I don't become one of the people who uses a blog to publicly discuss relationship stuff, because I don’t think that is a good idea for a myriad of reasons. But I am bringing it up now because my memory problems are really amplified in regards to him for some reason.

I find myself forgetting things he has told me about himself and his childhood, even though I know I was actively listening at the time he told me. He will mention a TV show in multiple conversations, and later on when he brings over a DVD of said show I will be like, “Now, what’s this?” And he says he told me about it, and I have this vague, underwater-like memory of something similar, and the problem is I can’t pull the file out of my memory. It’s lost in there, in the muck. This is making me feel terrible. I feel like I am in a type of dream-state most of the day, everyday, because people will say things and I take it in, and then I just drift away without wanting to.

Even worse… this has adversely affected my ability to play the “Name That Movie” quote game. For years now, I have been sucking big time at that game. Back in the day, me and my sister could quote movies for hours and say them verbatim, with voice inflections from the actors and everything. Now I can’t play that game very well because I honestly can not pull up movie quotes in my mind anymore, on demand. It’s so hard. I end quoting just two or three movies, all the time, and with very little originality or obscurity. This, obviously, is NOT cool. I need to be able to play this game; it’s totally important to my social life.

But again, if I see it in writing, if I can write it down myself, I will remember it. In the case of movie quotes, IMDB has become my unofficial cheat sheet. But yes, at least I have a visual memory still, and I can still read well. So at least that’s something.

I really don’t want to seem like a terrible friend, or girlfriend, movie-quoter or even co-worker. I want you all to publicly know that I do care about what you say to me, and I don’t want you to think I am purposely forgetting things you tell me in any way. And, finally: If anyone has any advice on how to pump up your listening-powers and then your listening comprehension, I would totally love you if you can share it and help a sistah out.

Or, if you just want to write and make fun of me for my dumbness, you can do that too. Sometimes public mockery can do wonders for a bitch like me.