This is really me. Yes, I am not wearing a fat suit. Why am I posting this? Well, while I am not skinny, and I do sport a higher BMI than I should, I don't consider myself fat. Actually, I am quite normal-sized. However, when I opened yesterday's Arizona Republic link for the article they wrote about Malcolm, I was shocked by the hideous photo they slapped into the article.
In the photo, I have a tiny little smudge of a Malcolm pressed against my cheek. The photographer had told me to "pull your head back so your hair doesn't fall forward" so I did, and the resulting mess of a photo looks like I am wearing a fat suit. I have at least 4 chins squeezed into the frame. I look like I have the pudgiest face since Wynonna Judd. The photo should NOT have looked this bad. To make it worse, they did an extreme cropping job so the photo is ALL FACE, and very little Malcolm. This was not what I was thinking they'd do. The article is about him, not me. I am wondering if I wronged the photographer somehow, either the other day when he came by to take this horrendous photo or in another life.
Look, I don't mean to be so shallow and so vain, but COME ON, the photo is REALLY BAD. Click here to see for yourself. Yeeesh.
11 comments:
LOL
Such a bad picture. The real kicker is that just underneath is an Enlarge This Image button!
OMG, that is so not fair. I think you should demand a reprint. I had a pic similar to that posted at work, yikes!
FYI, this pic (the one on the blog) of you looks super hot though!
Oh Lees, the second I saw that picture I gasped. You DON'T look like that in real life! WTF did that photographer do? He should be fired.
I like this picture much better! I can photoshop Malcolm in there if you want...
Thanks, guys. It definitely scared me and I wondered if that's really what I looked like.
Now it looks like the link isn't even correct. Every time I click on it, there's my horrible pic but with a story about a guy and his bearded lizard.
Does bearded lizard sound like a euphemism, perchance?
Where is the picture?!?! It seems to be gone! Damn! I want to see it!
Hey, as an aside, when I first read the headline, I thought it said, "Malcolm works his way into big owner's heart." I was like, "That's just plain mean! She must have done something awful to that photographer."
But seriously, I want to see it. Make with the Jiminy Glick fat suit picture please.
Oh wait, I just found it. There were two links. Oh boy, that is not you. If anyone else would like to see it, here is the link -- http://www.azcentral.com/families/articles/1202fam_petpeople.html
No need to thank me, Lisa. Hey, that URL looks the same as yours. Why didn't it work? What the hell is wrong with me??? This is a long comment. Sorry.
Thanks, Mike. I was able to put the correct link right into the post itself! Look out, world, the blogging genius is back.
This whole experience made me wish I had a real fat suit, so I could be insensitive as my idol, Tyra Banks. She was "so upset she cried" when she wore her fat suit 'round town! Tyra-- Changing the World For Beautiful Black Women Everywhere!
I actually dislike her. Very much.
I obviously don't know what you look like in real life since I only know you through the wonders of the blogging world...but all of the pics of you on your blog are much better! That camerman was stupid to tell you to look up. Always make sure you have your pic taken when you're below the cameraman, even by an inch, it makes all the difference! No one can ever take a bad pic then. Boo to him!
What did you do to piss off the photographer and make him photoshop a "before" picture of Carnie Wilson onto your body? It looks like she's going to eat your dog!
You're much cuter than that.
I didn't want to say it, but since Cate brought it up, you do look like Carney Wilson in that picture.
Oh man, bad photo or not... I gotta say that the Carney Wilson comments kinda hurt.
Oh yes. Back when I was a deeply broke reporter, I did a story (with a reporter buddy) about dating through the personals. I'm OK-looking, but apparently I don't photograph well, because the photo staff took a photo of me that made me look like a complete hag. Really demoralizing. It didn't even show my chubby-ass upper arms. It was just BAD.
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