I feel pretty great today. It's in the 80s outside, and it's breezy and sunny. I am working from home, so I got to take a longer time outside with the dogs this morning. I took them to the park behind my house and let them both off leash and they ran around like two little nuts. Then I went to my doctor and to my relief, I am very healthy at the moment with no sign of relapse. Great stuff.

While I was at the doctor, I had to smile like a goof because when I used the restroom while I was waiting, I noticed the "Urine Collection Cups." They are implements by which you can give a urine sample. Not very exciting on the surface, and kind of repulsive, really. But something about the way it was labeled as such cracked me up. I pictured if you went to someone's house for dinner, and you are helping them set the table, and you saw cups labeled "Urine Collection Cups" in the cabinet-- that would be strange. Hell, even if they were in the bathroom. What would be this person's deal where they have a urine collection? Would it be all one individual's personal urine, or would it be the kind of collection where you tried to get the urine of famous people? Would you keep a urine collection refrigerated, or in a handsome oak curio cabinet? I guess that would be a matter of preference.

I have to admit I thought about taking a urine collection cup with me. Just think of the hilarity of going to Trish's house, and pouring myself a drink and drinking out of the urine collection cup in a conspicuous manner. I have a huge messenger-bag purse... it would have fit in there. They were brand-new and sterile, as they had plastic over them that had a "sterile" label on them-- which while psychologically troubling, would be safe to drink from otherwise. But then it would have been kind of strange if as I was checking out, and I reached in to get my checkbook and the urine collection cup rolled out onto the floor or something. I would have to say, "Oh, how did that get in there?" and then give it up to the lady behind the counter. And then switch doctors because I don't want to be "the urine hoarder lady."

I just think there are so many, many ways to have fun with a plastic cup labeled with big clear block letters: "Urine Collection Cup." It's sort of a got-to-have item if you are weird and slightly needy. But I think with a little craftsmanship, I could make my own. But what kind of person stays at home, carefully painting those words on a plastic cup? What does that say about my chances for normalcy and/or ever having children with someone? I don't know. Hell. That's what I have to deal with. This is my hell.