If I were the Queen, I would proclaim that no one else can ever have the name of Lisa. No one. EVER.
I am sick and tired of reacting whenever some stranger around me says my name, and it turns out they are talking to someone else, and I go, "Yeah?" and then they look at me like "Fuck you, you interfering and unfamiliar asshole" and I have to go away and hide my reddened face.
I am also fed up--pray tell, I have had it "up to here"-- with co-workers who talk loudly on their phones to our affiliates and feel the need to say the person's first name they are talking to, and that person's name is Lisa. And the connection drops or something, so the co-worker feels the need to holler into the phone: "Lisa? LISA? Can you hear me? HELLO? HELLLL-OOOO LISA!" And my stomach gets all jumpy hearing my name yelled like that. Oh...I can hear you, prick. Shut up. Stop saying Lisa!!!
These are things I can no longer tolerate. I will call for the death of all violators of my proclamation!
NO MORE LISAS. EVER!!
5 comments:
If you do become Queen, can you banish the Middletown post office to hell for losing the package I sent you? Maybe make a few heads roll. Fuckiz......
Banish my mail lady, too- she folds all my catalogs and magazines IN HALF- WITH A CREASE! before putting them in my mailbox- and it's not a small mailbox. And she didn't even leave us a nice note when we finally replaced the formerly crappy mailbox with a nice new one...
I feel your pain on the name thing. I was one of 4 Jennifers growing up- and we all had the same last initial, too.
There were 5 Christina Lynns in my first grade class. They even put our picture in the newspaper because of it (it was a small town, suffice to say). So I had to go by "Christy" for the first 9 years of school, until high school. It sucked. So I feel your pain.
Nothing against the name Christy.
Naynay-- Yeah, I'll get 'em. I feel bad that you went out of your way to do something nice, and THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. I mean...what the shit is that?
Jenius-- Wonder why she has to be such a Crease Nazi. Maybe she grew up in an unstructured home and this is her way of compensating. Oh, and in elementary school at least, there was always at least 2 Jennifers in every class I was in. I've only been in multiple Lisa situations in school a few times. So I lucked out as a kid... I don't know why, as an adult, I answer to ANYONE calling out my name. Weird!
Tinapopo-- Christina was always one of my favorite names, but not Chrissy. Christy was OK...just please, no Chrissy. Makes me think of Three's Company (which I just never liked) and a fat girl I knew who was a big know-it-all. "Shut up, smarty-fatty," that's what I was thinking whenever I saw her.
Rae & Lani-- What's with you guys and the Starbucks names? It's not that I don't think you should have them, but I want to know... do you use said names in other circumstances besides Starbucks? I don't know why I want to know this. (RaeAnn, we need to find you an alternative name. What about Janine? My middle name; reminiscent of Garofalo; fellow blogger NayNayfazz's given moniker...it's a winner all around!)
Get the "F" outta here... your middle name is Janine???? Did you tell me this and I forgot? I love Janeane Garafolo too, btw.
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