I am ready for another trip to NJ, I think. It's been almost a year since I have been back, and I was thinking today that I really would like to visit my Dad for his birthday. I already looked up airfares and now I am just doing the budget work required before a spur-of-the-moment vacation before I book anything. But I think I am gonna do it.

Best of all, it looks like Trish will come with me. We have yet to visit NJ together in the whole time we've been living out here. There are a lot of sister-specifics that we really need to do when we go back; like drive to the Spy House and go visit our old shoppin' haunts-- things like that. Plus since we get along very well, we can go out to eat and agree on every place we go, and visit friends we both like and not run into any dramas or "issues." That's always a plus of being best friends with your sister. We can just tell each other when one of us is being an asshole or something.

Today is overcast and gray out, which is always great in Arizona. I know I have said it before, but rain here is the best thing ever. I never realized rain could be pretty, and smell really nice, until I moved here. I thought it had to be cold, go-on-for-like-a-week-at-a-time, and smell faintly of fish and garbage. Growing up in towns like Atlantic Highlands and Belford will do that to ya. But here, even in the city, it has a hint of creosote to it every time... all the bushes and trees in the desert give off these sweet, clean aromas when they get wet. I love it. Anyway, I really hope it rains today.

I was reading something on the news today that in Germany, they have set up "kindergartens" for men. What happens is, a German woman will go shopping, but her husband or boyfriend will be complaining and acting like a pissant, so now she can drop her man off at one of these places where, for about $11, he will get 2 meals, some beer, and be able to watch TV while she shops.

Now I am saying right now, I am glad the Germans are doing this. Lord knows we need to do something to keep the German men from getting into trouble; they need supervision, otherwise they are forming Reichs and what-not. But seriously now, I am thinking about this, and haven't they realized we already HAVE places like this? In America, the "kindergartens for men" are simply known as BARS. Drop your man off at a bar or a sports grill, even, and voile! You can shop in peace and he can drink and watch TV.

Well, either way, it made me happy to be German to hear about this development. Know why? The women get little ticket stubs for their men, which they use to "claim" them when it's time to go home and leave the kindergarten behind. I just love the idea of having a claim ticket for a man. It's only going to be a matter of time before there are EZ Passes imbedded in a man's upper arm, so he can be dropped off and picked up in a hurry.

Wait, one important thing I wanted to say: why the hell do women bring their men shopping with them, anyway? Seriously, we women wonder why men cheat or get all grumpy and stupid around us: it's because we force them to watch us shop. Just think back to when you were little, and how your mom would drag you out to the store while she picked out something boring like curtains. Didn't it suck? Didn't you just want to go to the toy store, or to McDonalds? Did you or did you not once fake vomiting in order to get your mother to stop looking at flatware in Macy's and take you home?

Well, maybe men are like we were when we were little. Y'know? Maybe it's boring and dull to them, and maybe they could be doing something else while you are trying on the 12th pair of black shoes in an hour. I always see these guys that are dragged along for a shopping trip to the mall or something, and they always have the same lost, defeated look in their eyes. Just leave 'em at home! I've been doing it for years now and I am not missing anything by not having a guy sighing and shuffling around next to me while I sort through bargain bins of underwear at the big Victoria's Secret sale. Couples do not and should not do every single thing together.

This is not to say there are not times when I do want to just go shopping with a guy. But really, a straight man doesn't do well as an accessory. I'm just sayin'.

One more thought on this topic before I do some actual work: I think, at the German men's kindergarten, it would be good to put up some sort of barrier-- like an invisible fence-- so they can't escape. And perhaps institute the bead-necklace/bathroom break policy, as well. You will need to have some order, after all.

And hey, maybe the Germans can start thinking about setting up kindergartens for the women outside strip clubs or OTBs (if they have them there). Inside the women get ice cream, slippers, aromatherapy and copies of the movie "Kate and Leopold" to watch on tiny pink TVs while their men are busy. We need to make sure that we are always feeding into stereotypes for the sexes, always, otherwise what good are all these penises and vaginas, anyway? Without gender stereotypes, we would all be sexless heathens.