I have the weakest immune system ever. Maybe I didn't get enough shots as a kid or something. Well, whatever the case may be, I am sick again. I have a garden-variety head cold at the moment, and a low fever. I had afever that reached 100 on Saturday night, and that's something for me since my normal temperature is about 97.9.
Remember when you got sick at school, and the nurse wouldn't let you go home unless you were at least showing a 99 degree temperature? That sucked for me, since it rarely went that high unless I was really sick. I'd even get the standard, "Oh, this hasn't even gotten up to normal yet," which made me feel like I was a failure at achieving a normal temperature. Surely there must be something I can do to be hotter, I'd think. That's probably around the time when I began wearing the hooker boots and shoving chicken cutlets into my training bra, but that's another story.
I think I hate coughing the most. Well, I think I hate throwing up the most of all, but coughing is pretty bad, too. I hate that I have to do it in places where other people are around. It makes noise and it sounds sort of obnoxious when you need to do it in places like the office or in church. Whenever I hear someone coughing at work, all I think is: Damn it, just go HOME already. Yesterday I was the cougher. And I didn't go home. Sure, I am home today and all, but that's not the point. The point is that yesterday I was one of the people I am annoyed by.
Coughing not only makes too much noise, it can be painful to the throat. And what's the deal with this wet stuff? It's not quite spit, and it's not quite mucus... shit, what is that?! I hate it. I hate when I have to cough and no tissues are nearby and the wet has to land in my hand. And I have to rush to the sink to wash up, or at least find a tissue/napkin to do a quick spot-clean while I make my way towards the nearest sink. Coughing is a hassle, and I for one am not enjoying this. Not one bit! I feel LOATHESOME.
Maybe at some point I will remember the thing I thought about last night that would make a good and hopefully-funny blog, but until then, I will just remind you that the shitter is full.
5 comments:
Aw. Feel better, Lisa!
And try drinking some bourbon. You might still cough, but you won't mind nearly as much. At least until the puking starts.
Ah, Popo's Hobo Remedies are always interesting. May I suggest Zicam. I use the cold tablets, nose swabs and spray. I can zap a cold in two days. Try it.
I should note I am in no way affliated with Zicam, nor are they giving some sort of profit sharing.
I need to do something, because these zinc lozenges ain't doing SHIT. Maybe I will take both of your advice: lots of bourbon with the Zicam nose-swab chaser. If it works for two prolific hobo hookers, it's gotta work for me!
Dude, coughing is the worst ever! I annoy myself so much that I assume I'm really pissing off those around me.
Hope you feel better soon! :)
Lisa, did you die?
Hope not.
Later.
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